loose her and let her go

 

 

no one sees my graveclothes.

most graveclothes smell of hell

coarse and rough

trappings of death. 

but mine are

spider-silk-thin

and i wonder

if i wind them tighter,

wind myself tighter,

if i am

busy

harried

and

trying

perhaps i can hide

my soft and rotten places

with these thin veils.

 

so,

i smile

holding the pieces of me

together

with silk.

 

i watch others scoff

at the those bound my coarse graveclothes

addiction, darkness, and sloth

their cloths obvious 

and i wrap myself tighter

before others can see

before they can press their hands across my soft and rotten places.

 

i long to be free

i long to scratch them off

pull them off

but someone else must free me

for i am 

bound.

 

but, others pass me by.

not seeing

they smile

and smell the sweet, too sweet, perfume disguising the decay.

yet, these keep me bound and dead just as well.

 

i've

wrapped myself tight

tried so hard to wind them tight

just right

perfectly

as if i wasn't really winding myself in death

but instead, fine linen,

i'm 

strangled by perfection

be just right,

look just right.

 

i

see my sisters come

concerned

and recognizing death

and then see

Him.

 

blinding light

and a

strong hand

reaches.

 

i hesitate,

pulling my wrappings close once more

embarassed,

so He won't see.

 

He waits.

 

and

finally

i drop my hold

upon my cloths

and reach with

both hands

toward

Him.

 

and He sees

what others ignored.

He holds my hurt and tender places

and 

heals them. 

 

and i no longer have need for cover

for He has covered me. 

 

and i rise

whole

and alive. 

 

 

 

inspired by "Loose Him and Let Him Go" BYU Hawaii Devotional by Eric Shumway.  

"I pray that the story of Lazarus will take root more deeply in all of us; that the power of the Atonement in Lazarus. . . and millions of others will give us courage to 'stand forth' and to allow our graveclothes to be removed; and that we might also be both the healers and the healed, the unbinders and the unbound."

thank you Olivia for introducing me to this talk

and that picture will not turn, but i took it of the most beautiful, moving sculpture garden at thanksgiving point.  

Comments

[ally]

I love this. I love you and I love this blog!

Sometimes I can get a picture to turn if I drag it out to the desktop and then attach it from there. You have probably already tried this though!

[Brooke]

Oh my goodness. This is moving and piercing. So beautiful. Thank you.